Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why Women Choose To Divorce?

By James Wallis

The high proportion of divorces filed in the UK by women reflects just the domiciled population. Apart from this, ‘divorce tourism’ has really captured the imagination, heart and purse strings of European wives who are flying down to file divorce against rich husbands in this country, supposedly to get a more favourable judgement.

Needless to say, the press is enjoying all the hullabaloo. So are women divorcing because that is an infallible, legally acceptable and socially credible get-rich quick scheme? It seems that there is a great dark shadow beneath all this limelight. While the multimillionaire wives get to flash their smiles and billionaire husbands on front pages on divorce, there is a huge population of women who are being pressed into divorce by circumstances that are far from complimentary.

The Casanova Streak

An unfaithful husband is not welcome by women in the UK, or for that matter, anywhere else. Among all the cases of infidelity registered here, the men had been to blame in 75% of the cases. The majority is just too staggering, and is apparently on the rise! Most of the wives surveyed by the government responded by stating that they prefer giving a second chance if the husband owns it up on his own. Unfortunately, in most of the cases, the wife either discovers her man in the act, or hears it from others, or employs detectives to find it out. The common reaction is a kind of knee-jerk effect – the wife just packs her bags and leaves with the children in tow. Most women are in no mood to ‘discuss’ it again if they discover that they have been cheated. Most husbands complicate and worsen matters by trying to either make excuses or buy peace or shift the blame.

Mutual Consent

The amicable divorce is fast becoming the new favourite in the UK. This does not mean that we have become drastically peace-loving and dispassionate as a nation. It merely means that people would rather spend less getting divorced than blow their cash on the last great quarrel together. If the couple manage to strike up a deal where mutual consent has been reached over as many factors as possible, then the least amount of money would be spent. The real reason behind the divorce may be something quite different, but most women are anyway under great economic constraint when they divorce, so they can’t afford to drag on with it.

Physical and Emotional Abuse

It is a matter of deep shame that the rate of abuse – both physical and emotional is on the rise in the UK. Most of the perpetrators of violence at home are males in the age group between twenty-five to fifty and who take complete advantage of their powerful economic and social position to subdue the family. An abusive husband almost never spares the children either. Physical abuse has still had some publicity, but there is an abysmal lack of awareness on emotional abuse, including among those who should be upholding the law. Many men sponge up all the resources of the family, drowning the money in drinking or lavish hobbies while the family suffers. Many women who are well-placed economically become burdened with jealous and abusive husbands who nevertheless do not want to give an easy divorce because they want the money. Sometimes the violence is bad enough for a criminal offence to be launched, and it is unbelievable that man can fall to such an extent.

The Empty Nest

Children are often the greatest cementing factor in a marriage. There are women who stay on in an otherwise disadvantageous match solely because of the children. But the kids grow up one day and fly the nest, and then there is no need to hold on to the shells of a marriage that is quite hollow. This is known as the empty nest syndrome and is very common in almost all countries including the East now, especially in Japan. What is the woman supposed to do when she’s done with being a great mother and an able wife? Many women in their late forties are striking out on their own to find a life by themselves and do things that they always wanted to, but never had the chance to do.

So women divorce for all kinds of reasons, and some are highlighted, while others remain perpetually neglected.

About the Author: James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see


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